bjokr:

introducing myself in the first day of school

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  • 15-year-old me:MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
  • me now:for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance
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badassmccall:

if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances

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pink-vulva:

reasons i want to look GOOD 

  • for myself
  • for myself
  • to plant the seed of envy in other bitch’s hearts
  • for myself
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the-loki-initiative:

habibtipalestina:

Student: can I please use the bathroom?

*takes bag*

Teachers: why are you taking your bag?

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This happened in my English class one time and the girl who was going picked up her bag as she got up and the male teacher just said “Put your bag down and go to the bathroom.” and without any hesitation she just said, “I need something in it there is blood coming out of my vagina.” He never made girls leave their bags again.

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radical-beta:

when someone you don’t like loves the same song as you

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the-canadian-government:

whynotstyless:

nappyheadet-ho-ho-hoes:

"wow! who taught you to do your makeup like that?"image

"wow! who taught you how to make that?"

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"wow! who taught you-"

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why do you know so much about sex
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why are you so calm about porn
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Why do you know so much about murdering people
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modestmgmtofficial:

my sister’s view on one direction’s fashion sense:

  • louis: “smoked weed once and won’t let anyone forget it”
  • zayn: “posh college student ft. laid back beyonce”
  • harry: “hippie mom that’s a little too happy about being pregnant”
  • niall: “frat boy… might’ve sucked some dick but no one judges him”
  • liam: “he looks like he’s about to get into a rap battle”
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